Tuesday, October 31, 2006
He loved cheeseburgers
As she started on her way, a man ran up to her and fell on his knees before her. “Good doctor,” he asked, “what must I do to lose weight and improve my cardiac health?”
“Why do you call me good?” the doctor answered. “No one is good – except God alone. You know the rules: ‘don’t smoke, limit your caffeine and salt intake, remember your whole grains, fruits and vegetables, drink alcohol only in moderation, drink eight glasses of water a day, exercise regularly.’”
“Doctor,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a young boy.”
The doctor looked at him with compassion. “One thing you lack,” she said. “Go, bid farewell to eating meat and dairy products, and you will lose weight, have cardiac health, and live long. Then come, follow me.”
At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he loved cheeseburgers.
The doctor looked around and said to her interns, “How hard it is for the overweight to lose weight.”
The interns were amazed at her words. But the doctor said again, “my little first-years, how hard it is to live a healthy lifestyle! It is easier for a surgeon to complete a human brain transplant than for the obese to achieve long life.”
The interns were even more amazed, and said to each other, “Who then can live?”
The teacher looked at them and said, “With humankind this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”
“Why do you call me good?” the doctor answered. “No one is good – except God alone. You know the rules: ‘don’t smoke, limit your caffeine and salt intake, remember your whole grains, fruits and vegetables, drink alcohol only in moderation, drink eight glasses of water a day, exercise regularly.’”
“Doctor,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a young boy.”
The doctor looked at him with compassion. “One thing you lack,” she said. “Go, bid farewell to eating meat and dairy products, and you will lose weight, have cardiac health, and live long. Then come, follow me.”
At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he loved cheeseburgers.
The doctor looked around and said to her interns, “How hard it is for the overweight to lose weight.”
The interns were amazed at her words. But the doctor said again, “my little first-years, how hard it is to live a healthy lifestyle! It is easier for a surgeon to complete a human brain transplant than for the obese to achieve long life.”
The interns were even more amazed, and said to each other, “Who then can live?”
The teacher looked at them and said, “With humankind this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Who da man?
Once again I have asserted my manliness (thumps chest twice).
We had a leaky toilet. Had.
In a matter of mere hours (ooooh yeah baby) I removed that whole floaty mechanism from the left side of the tank, took it to the hardware store and said "I need something like this."
Seven dollars and less than an hour later, I had installed that floaty mechanism thing.
Still leaky.
I decided that the pipe connecting the floaty mechanism to the water supply was the culprit. I removed it, went back to the hardware store and found a flexible water supply pipe thing, and three dollars and a few minutes later, presto! No leaky toilet. The funkster delivered.
Yes, I am that awesome.
We had a leaky toilet. Had.
In a matter of mere hours (ooooh yeah baby) I removed that whole floaty mechanism from the left side of the tank, took it to the hardware store and said "I need something like this."
Seven dollars and less than an hour later, I had installed that floaty mechanism thing.
Still leaky.
I decided that the pipe connecting the floaty mechanism to the water supply was the culprit. I removed it, went back to the hardware store and found a flexible water supply pipe thing, and three dollars and a few minutes later, presto! No leaky toilet. The funkster delivered.
Yes, I am that awesome.
