Kerrfunk

This and that

2009-08-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

No time like the present, huh?
Facebook has stolen all of my "blog" time. Ha. I was posting twice a year before getting on Facebook anyway.

2009 is more than halfway over.
I've put nearly 4000 miles on my motorcycle. I'm licensed now. If you're reading this and have any interest in motorcycles, take the safety course, it's excellent. To get a license in PA: Go to a driver's license center and pick up a motorcycle pamphlet. Read it five times. Go back to the DL center and take the 20-question test for your motorcycle permit. Then sign up for the state class. Note: you must have a permit before signing up for the class, and you need to sign up for the class several months in advance. So start now.

Your permit allows you to operate a motorcycle by yourself during the day. As in, not at night, and not with passengers.

Take the class. You don't need a bike, you don't even need to have ever ridden a motorcycle to take the class. You need a permit, long pants, long sleeves, boots, and gloves. They will provide the bike for every student, and will provide a helmet if necessary. The class is two evenings of classroom, and eight hours of practical instruction on a state bike. Finish the class to the instructor's satisfaction, and you are licensed!

Wow that was a lot on that topic.

What else about 2009?

Lessee, Sashi finished Kindergarten, and experienced her first loose tooth. It fell out a few weeks ago. She and I went to Chicago for a bit in July. The three of us went to the Jersey Shore (Cape May) in July, too. Sashi is also officially a swimmer, now that she's passed the swim test at the local pool. Way to go, babygirl!

Melissa started a business -- Best of Breed Pet Sitting. (dot com) Check it out. She's awesome!

I did a year of Adult Hip-Hop at Sashi's dance studio. That was pretty cool. Check out my youtube vids for that.

I ran my fourth half-marathon, May 3rd, Alexandria VA. 2 hours three minutes, or so. Better than I thought.

I am in my fourth year pastoring at Spring City UMC. Goin fine, thanks be to God.

Still January

2009-01-31T07:30:00.000-08:00

Might as well kick off the new year right, huh?

Apparently it was August, last time I checked this blog.

Apparently some folks occasionally do read this stuff! Hi! How exciting!

So lessee. You already know about my guitars and my bowling shirts. I got another bowling shirt for Christmas (thanks, Love!). It matches my motorcycle, my new toy that I got in October and have put 1,000 miles on already. Fun fun fun!

You can't tell from the picture, but since you stalk me you probably already know it's a maroonish 1982 Suzuki GS550L. Translation: a good starter bike, good for distance too.

What else? Sashi is in Kindergarten. She loves it. Just got her 1st Semester report card yesterday. Almost all "PR"s and "S"s. (PR = Proficient, shows mastery of skill, or exceeds expectations. S = Satisfactory. I don't know if the teacher could choose between PR and S for each category or not. It's Kindergarten, and she's doing very well)

Anyway, I'm putting the "PRO" in Procrastination, so I'ma gonna stop this awhile and go procrastinate elsewhere :)

Oh I almost forgot: I was witnessed to yesterday. Received a gospel tract and everything. I wish the guy had listened to me but he was in the zone. If you're witnessing to someone, and you ask 'em what they do, or whether they know God, Listen to 'em, for goodness sake.

Sola gratia

Thanks for reading!

Be blessed!

I funny

2008-08-26T08:37:00.001-07:00

People are always saying "I know a good joke when I hear one."

Well...

I know a good joke when I tell one

:)

Cuz I'm a kid

2008-06-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

Long time no post. Blame it on myspace, facebook, etc. Or just my tendancy to drop things after a while. Like running, journaling, all that good stuff.

I've run about six times this year. Twice in the last four days. So it's been an off year for running, but I'm picking it up again this month. I was starting to get too competitive with myself about it.

I had a great morning today until I woke up. Spilled an entire cup of coffee on the family room carpet (sorry, Love) and that really took the wind outta my sails.

While taking my daughter to her daysitter, however, she brightened my day in her childlike way. We often pass the house of a local chocolatier, whose vehicle is chocolate colored and includes the name and phone number of her business. Whenever my daughter sees that car she excitedly screams for chocolate, and this morning she did not fail to provide.

I'm not a healthfood nut or anything, but I try to give my kid something resembling a balanced diet, and I probably harp on her far too much about treats, which she is incessantly asking for. So this morning when we passed the chocolate car, she said "When can I have some chocolate, Daddy?"

Hoping she would say something about nutritious food first, I asked "Why should I buy you chocolate?"

Her response: "Cuz I'm a kid!"

That response made my day. Thank you, darling daughter.

Happy Birthday Mary

2007-12-29T17:01:00.000-08:00

honk for mary! She's kissing an iPod hello!
Happy birthday mom from the family

Does two make a collection? Does five?

2007-11-27T20:55:00.000-08:00

I now have two guitars. Do I have a guitar collection?

My first guitar (that's kinda fun to say) was among the best of birthday presents I recall in my lifetime. When I was fifteen, I picked up an old guitar (it was four strings!) and a songbook, and taught myself chords. A group of my friends, bless their hearts, pooled together for my sixteenth birthday and gifted me with a roundback Applause Ovation acoustic guitar. For real, that was the thoughtfulest gift. I never got very far with it, but it has been my friend for almost twenty years now. The varnish is cracked in two spots, but I don't think the actual wood is cracked (just its owner!). A comfortable guitar.

Today I made my first personal guitar purchase. A Washburn D12-12N. Twelve string. Found it on Craigslist (and had a nice evening with a new friend (the former owner) and her husband... Happy Anniversary, A&A, and good luck on the move!) Oooh, it's fun. I'm excited.

So do I have a guitar collection? I wouldn't mind having a basic electric guitar, but I would know even less what to do with that. Right now I have two nice toys.

Oh and then there's my other new collection. I figure five definitely counts, right? I have five bowling shirts. I can't think of the last time I bowled, but I bought four bowling shirts in the last twelve months, and received another as a gag gift.

Here's my first one (although mine has "kerrfunk" embroidered on the front)
"Bowling for Jesus, because he died for our pins."

My second was a plain white and black shirt, no name. It was on sale.

My third was similar to the first, but no print on the back, and I got similar ones for my brothers (another sale).

My fourth was the gag gift from some folks at church.

My latest was another sale, this time a closeout from the manufacturer. Apparently "Raul" didn't want his shirt, so I got a good deal on it. It says "Raul" on the front, and has something like a C-123 transport on the back, with paratroopers jumping out of it.

So yeah. What a year, huh?

Cell phones vs the Bible

2007-09-08T15:51:00.001-07:00

(not original)

I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phones.
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we used it as we traveled?
What if we used it in case of an emergency?

This is something to make you go ...hmm...where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't ever have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because the bill has already been paid! Pass this on to everyone you know that has a cell phone.
Makes you stop and think. . . "Where are my priorities?"
And remember: with HIM there are no dropped calls!

Sweet thing

2007-06-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

Good for my darling daughter.

She had a coloring page of Joseph in a well.

Sweet thing drew a ladder for Joseph to get out.

Half way to 70

2007-05-19T18:22:00.001-07:00

That was what I wrote on my buddy's birthday card a few years ago when he turned 35.

And now I'm half way to seventy, myself.

It's all good. You're only as old as you feel, right?

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow. That's a good way to end a short post...

200 miles so far in 2007

2007-05-09T04:21:00.000-07:00

So I completed my third half-marathon.

My goal (as stated here in two previous posts) was to complete the 13.1 miles in under two hours, preferably by several minutes. My half-marathon time in the Las Vegas run four years ago was 1:59:55.

I was this close (holds thumb and index finger about a centimeter apart) to finishing under two hours. My wristwatch time: two hours and two seconds. Official race time: two hours eight seconds.

I placed 93rd out of about 300 runners. 57 out of 109 men. 14 out of 25 men between the age of 30 and 39. Not that I analyze the results like a geek or anything.

The course went 6.5 miles down the Potomac, then we turned around and ran back to the start. Uphill. And against the wind. I might have preferred that we started by running uphill and into the wind, but hey, it's not my course...

Overall, I'm pretty pleased. A bit behind the middle of the pack is where I've usually found myself, and I have no shame about that. I started and finished strong, and in my training I both achieved a level of fitness I haven't seen in years, and I logged a personal sustained pace record (I held a 7:40 pace for 1.6 miles).

While I'm not sure I want to subject my body to the stress of a full marathon, I do believe I'll run a half marathon every year or two or three for a while. Beat that 1:59:55 I will :)

p.s. I'm thinking about getting "Shut Up And Drive" tattooed on the back of my hand so other drivers will be able to see it. Anybody got any Baked Lays? Them things are great. Almost as good as Beringer White Merlot. To. Die. For. Only thing better is eating/drinking barefoot.

Hi

2007-04-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

April is almost over.

Lent was pretty okay. I did pretty good with the alcohol abstinence and the exercise and the fasting. Had a horrendous virus/respiratory infection that I got through by the grace of God, antibiotics, and my dear sweet wife. (check out her blog, by the way. She's awesome)

That sickness really messed up my running, and I have a half marathon in two weeks that I'm not ready for. But I figure there are two things in my favor: I train on hills and the course is flat; I train solo and will be running with many. Both will help my pace, I think. One hour fifty minutes would make me pretty happy. I'll be satisfied with under two hours. Might be disappointed with 2:10. We'll see.

I'm six days from Walk To Emmaus (google it) which I'm very excited about.

And that's what I'll do for now, friends.

Lent

2007-02-20T21:22:00.000-08:00

So we're about eight weeks into the year 2007...

I posted my New Year's Resolutions a few posts back, and those are going pretty well, I'd say. Not perfect or anything, but nothing to hang my head in shame over either.

I've put almost 81 miles on my new running shoes, which I started on January first. I'm pleased with that. Ten miles a week. I'm signed up for a half-marathon in May, the Potomac River Run. Might as well post a goal: 1:54. That's a 8:42 mile, for thirteen miles. I'll check back on that in three months, eh? I think I may shoot for the Atlantic City Marathon in October, too. We'll see.

Looking forward to gardening when that season comes around. I missed that last year.

And Lent. This year I'll be doing 4,000+ pushups and crunches (100 a day), plus total abstinence from alcohol. So, yeah.

I don't know who turtle myrtle gertle is, but they commented a few posts back. Check it out :)

Have thyself a Holy Lent, friends.

Another "Borrowed" story

2007-02-02T08:17:00.000-08:00

ON FAILING
By Dr. Michael A. Halleen

They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. (John 21:3)

Jesus' disciples knew how to fish. They did it well and expected to be successful. But that night "they caught nothing." They failed. We know the feeling. Behind all of us lie some disappointments, and we can be sure there will be still more days ahead when our achievements fall short of our dreams. But FAILING does not make one a FAILURE. That happens only when we give up.

Winston Churchill failed sixth grade, but he was no failure as a leader of his nation. Thomas Edison failed all his classes in school and was sent home to work on his widowed mother's farm, but he was no failure as an inventor and creator of progress. David Livingstone fled from the pulpit of his first church in Scotland, a failure because he could not remember the text he was to preach on. From there he went to Africa and brought the Christian faith within reach of millions. Failing, in itself, is not the issue. It is what we do next that matters.

Some suggestions on what to do when failure comes:

~ Look for the presence of God. You have not been forsaken. God is at work in disappointment and failure as well as in success.

~ Learn all you can from it. Erma Bombeck was invited to a dinner for "highly successful people." Appalled at the idea, she nevertheless decided to go because she wanted to hear what successful people talked about. Later she wrote, "Every one of those people, every single one of those highly successful people, could only talk about their failures — and how they learned from them."

~ Get on with what's next. The Apostle Paul said, "Forgetting what is behind...I press on." The mark of the neurotic person is a perfect memory of every failing, while healthy people let it go and move ahead.

~ Challenge your idea of what is important. God has not called us to be successful, but to be faithful. God is not in the business of helping us to succeed, but of refining the soul, developing character, energizing the spirit. Success is only incidental to those ends.They got into the boat, worked all night and caught...NOTHING. Then came the voice of a Stranger on the shore, telling them to keep going, keep putting the net into the water. The story was not finished yet. They found that, while they failed, God did a marvelous work — in the sea, yes, but even more in their troubled hearts.

----------------------------
You can contact Mike at mhalleen@att.net to be added to his weekly devotional email list, "Monday Moments."
Also check out Mike's book "You Are Rich: Discovering Faith in Everyday Moments":http://snipurl.com/mHalleen (Amazon info)

Copyright 2007 Dr. Michael A. Halleen.
Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.

A nice story

2007-01-05T06:59:00.000-08:00

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage? His dad takes him into the forest blindfolded and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not take off the blindfold until the ray of sun shines through it. He is all by himself. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN. He cannot tell the other boys of this experience. Each lad must come into his own manhood.

The boy in our story was, naturally, terrified. Her could hear all kinds of noise. Beasts were all around him. Maybe even a human would hurt him. The wind blew the grass and earth and it shook his stump. But he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could be a man. Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he saw his father sitting on the stump next to him - at watch the entire night.

"I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."- God (Hebrews 13:5)

New Years Resolutions

2007-01-01T07:02:00.000-08:00

My 2007 positive affirmations

• I love God. I spend regular time in his Word and in prayer. I worship regularly and take Sabbath. I seek to be Christ-like in thought, word, and deed.

• I am a responsible servant of the church. I work hard, I plan ahead, and I model grace, integrity, and discipline.

• I love my wife. My eyes are for her body alone. I do not view porn or its cousin, erotica, neither do I sneak peeks at other women.

• I am a responsible husband and father. I spend time with my wife and my daughter. I am organized and I don't procrastinate. I maintain a financially fit household.

• I am fond of my body. I take care of it by regular exercise and by eating right. I drink alcohol because I like it, but I limit my intake because I like my body too.

Oops

2006-12-07T07:31:00.000-08:00

So a long time ago I apparently set my blog up so that spammers couldn't just randomly comment on my blog.

And then I never clicked on the "moderate comments" button.

I just discovered that there have actually been a few comments on this blog! Wow! Now I have to go read them all :)

Thanks for reading!

Cue James Brown music

2006-12-04T14:33:00.000-08:00

... cuz I feel good! (danner-nanner-nanner-na!)

I went to the doctor today.

In eight weeks my blood pressure has dropped 12 points (sans drugs), my weight has dropped 12 pounds (also sans drugs), and my cholesterol has dropped about 70 points (with drugs).

All it took was watching my sodium and my sugars and fats, eating more whole grains and more veggies, a 10-15 minute walk every day, and running 10 miles a week.

(danner-nanner-nanner-na!)

*edit: James Brown has died. But I still feel good.

Happy 7th Wedding Anniversary!!!

2006-11-20T20:44:00.000-08:00

So in spite of the fact that I knew it was our wedding anniversary, sure enough, the whole day passed without me presenting my bride with an anniversary gift.

She gave me mine on Saturday: a new automatic coffeemaker, so I could have coffee on Sunday morning.

And then tonight we're watching Aladdin with our daughter and my wife says "So do you have any earrings for me?"

Doh!

That's right, I says to myself. Two months ago she had hinted that this particular pair of earrings would be nice for our anniversary, and she left the catalog on the table. Naturally I ordered them, they arrived, and I hid them.

Outta sight, outta mind.

"So do you have any earrings for me?"

I sprang off the couch and sheepishly dashed into the other room, where her anniversary earrings were hidden, then somewhat unceremoniously presented them to her. Just what she wanted!

We had a good laugh.

It's good to be married.

He loved cheeseburgers

2006-10-31T20:37:00.000-08:00

As she started on her way, a man ran up to her and fell on his knees before her. “Good doctor,” he asked, “what must I do to lose weight and improve my cardiac health?”

“Why do you call me good?” the doctor answered. “No one is good – except God alone. You know the rules: ‘don’t smoke, limit your caffeine and salt intake, remember your whole grains, fruits and vegetables, drink alcohol only in moderation, drink eight glasses of water a day, exercise regularly.’”

“Doctor,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a young boy.”

The doctor looked at him with compassion. “One thing you lack,” she said. “Go, bid farewell to eating meat and dairy products, and you will lose weight, have cardiac health, and live long. Then come, follow me.”

At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he loved cheeseburgers.

The doctor looked around and said to her interns, “How hard it is for the overweight to lose weight.”

The interns were amazed at her words. But the doctor said again, “my little first-years, how hard it is to live a healthy lifestyle! It is easier for a surgeon to complete a human brain transplant than for the obese to achieve long life.”

The interns were even more amazed, and said to each other, “Who then can live?”

The teacher looked at them and said, “With humankind this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

Who da man?

2006-10-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

Once again I have asserted my manliness (thumps chest twice).

We had a leaky toilet. Had.

In a matter of mere hours (ooooh yeah baby) I removed that whole floaty mechanism from the left side of the tank, took it to the hardware store and said "I need something like this."

Seven dollars and less than an hour later, I had installed that floaty mechanism thing.

Still leaky.

I decided that the pipe connecting the floaty mechanism to the water supply was the culprit. I removed it, went back to the hardware store and found a flexible water supply pipe thing, and three dollars and a few minutes later, presto! No leaky toilet. The funkster delivered.

Yes, I am that awesome.

Kerrfunk's AM adventures

2006-08-15T06:33:00.000-07:00

So I woke up at 3 am. Couldn't get back to sleep, so I thought "I'll be useful. I'll go to the grocery store, since we don't have milk or orange juice for breakfast anyway"

Get in the car, radio turns on and I hear the 4-in-the-morning talk show host ask:
"So how do you know if you're being approached by a psychic vampire?"

Thankfully the answer followed pretty quickly.
"Well, basically it depends on your sense of intuition."

Ah. Thank you. I pull over to write this down on the grocery list before my sleepy brain distorts this truth.

And so, I translate:

Question: "So how do you know if you're being approached by a psychic vampire?"

Translation: "I'm a four-in-the-morning AM talk radio host. They put me here because I'm not good enough to have a slot during the day. Guess what that makes you, my esteemed guest? That's right: believe it or not, you are more pathetic than I; I at least have my own talk show."

Answer: "Well, basically it depends on your sense of intuition."

Translation: "You just do. It's like the points on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, it just doesn't matter. It's like the missing moon-landing tapes: you just have to take our word for it that what we tell you is true."

Alternate translation #1: "Deep within you is a special power which detects concentrated levels of darkness in the world. When concentrated darkness (i.e. psychic vampires) approach you your bat-sensors go off and you know. Duh. I can teach you this for six low payments of $19.99."

Alternate translation #2: "What's the difference between an orange?"

Alternate translations are invited. Just send me a special one-time payment of $19.99 to submit your translation. You'll also receive some free psychic garlic, with psychic vampire repelling powers, along with instructions on creating your own psychic wooden stake. Psychic silver bullets by special order only.

My wife read the account and emailed me:
"Am I really MARRIED to you??" What WAS that all about? You put WAY too much thought into weird stuff! I'm happy to married to you anyway. Life would be very boring otherwise! xoxo, Mrs. Kerrfunk

Another "Borrowed" story

2006-08-14T08:20:00.000-07:00

Enjoy Your Coffee.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

All the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself, adds no quality to the coffee in most cases, just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups...and then began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups...enjoy your coffee!

The Life of Pi

2006-08-04T22:57:00.000-07:00

Good book. Fun book. I just re-read it and thoroughly enjoyed it again.

Then I went to a discussion site about the book and my eyes were opened to the incredible depth of the story! I thought it was about the amazing survival of a castaway. O.M.G. It is so much more, so much more.

Wow.

The Lifesaving Station

2006-07-22T11:16:00.000-07:00

Once again. Not original. This is attributed to Richard Whitecroft.

On a dangerous seacoast, where shipwrecks often occur, there was once a crude little lifesaving station. The building was just a hut, and there was only one boat, but the few devoted members kept a constant watch over the sea. With no thought for themselves, they went out day and night, tirelessly searching for the lost. Many lives were saved by this wonderful little station and it became quite famous.

Some of those who were saved, and various others in the surrounding area, wanted to become associated with the station and give of their time, money and efforts for the support of its work. New boats were bought and new crews trained. The little lifesaving station grew. Some of the members of the lifesaving station were unhappy that the building was so crude and poorly equipped. They felt that a more comfortable place should be provided as the first refuge of those saved from the sea. So they replaced the emergency cots with beds and put nicer furniture in the enlarged building. Soon, the lifesaving station was decorated beautifully and furnished exquisitely. Now the lifesaving station became a popular gathering place for its members and they used it as a sort of club.

As time passed, fewer and fewer members were interested in going to sea on lifesaving missions and they hired lifeboat crews to do this work. The lifesaving motif still prevailed in the club’s decor and there was even a liturgical lifeboat in the room where the club initiations were held.

About this time a large ship was wrecked off the coast and the hired crews brought in boatloads of cold, wet and half-drowned people. They were dirty and sick. Some of them had black skin and some had yellow skin. The beautiful new club was in chaos. So the property committee immediately had a shower house built outside the club where victims of a shipwreck could be cleaned up before coming inside.

At the next meeting, there was a split in the club membership. Most of the members wanted to stop the club’s lifesaving activities and viewed them as unpleasant and a hindrance to the normal social life of the club. Some members insisted upon lifesaving as their primary purpose and pointed out that they were still called a “lifesaving” station. But they were finally voted down and told that if they wanted to save the lives of all the various kinds of people who were shipwrecked in those waters, they could begin their own lifesaving station down the coast. They did.

As the years went by, the new station gradually experienced the same changes that had occurred in the old. It evolved into a club and yet another lifesaving station was founded. History continued to repeat itself and if you visit that seacoast today, you will find a number of exclusive clubs along that shore. Shipwrecks are still frequent in those waters, but most of the people drown.

We need a new cuckoo clock.

2006-07-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

I just got this on email. I guess I may have heard it before, but it bears retelling, especially since like I haven't posted in 7 weeks or so.

The Cuckoo Clock: Why ladies should avoid a girls night out after they are married!

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.

Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNITE!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight". He didn't seem peed off at all. Whew!! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why?, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh. s***.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

Another Not Original Story That I Like

2006-05-21T10:22:00.000-07:00

HELL EXPLAINED BY College Student
The following has been floating around cyberspace as long as cyberspace has existed, and floated around in print before that. Not true, but funny. The setup: on a college science test (chemistry, physics, thermodynamics, engineering, whatever) was the question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

God and lawns

2006-05-04T13:03:00.000-07:00

Not original. But I was thinking about it today as I... guess what... mowed my lawn.

A conversation between God and St. Francis:

GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and flora I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply tremendously. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord, the Suburbanites. They started calling Your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and earthworms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now, let Me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when We cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stoke of genius, if I do say so Myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore.St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for Us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber. It's a real stupid movie about ....

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

2006-05-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

Ha. Three posts in two days. Then none in April.

I just read four years' of someone's xanga. Interesting.

I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life again (I read it two years ago with my church). There's certainly some cliche in there, but know what? Right now I'd rather have cliche that is God-oriented than have nothing at all. At least it gets me actively thinking, even if it's to disagree.

So yeah, if you're reading this, comment me, k? I won't ask too often :).

I'm going to another church in July. That is exciting and scary all at once. Right now all I can really speak of is the building and the parsonage, both of which are way cool. I know that the church is actually the people, though, and I look forward to those interactions. I'll probably branch out with a new blog or two (yeah, and keep this one up too?) so I can have church updates and things while maintaining some smidge of anonymity here.

Anyhoo. (my new fave word).

Oh yeah. I'm hooked on lots of things. Devotions and exercise aren't among them, but I want them to be. So 'New Year's Resolution'-style, I'm gonna start. No surfing before the Word of the day. And do my workout 4-5 times a week. While I'm at it, I ought to throw flossing regularly in there. I do floss regularly, as long as it's the six weeks leading up to a dental appointment :).

World's Shortest Jokes

2006-03-27T20:16:00.000-08:00

First of all: Holy cow! Three posts in two days!

So yeah, I thought of the world's shortest joke today, and then I thought of a second.

Ready?

"Vacuums suck."

"Geology rocks."

You got a competitor?

How close is too close?

2006-03-27T08:55:00.000-08:00

Reflecting on something the pastor said in church last Sunday:

People often wonder what is sin, what is not sin, and "how far" they can go without something being considered sinful. Sad that we want to know how much we can get away with, and when it comes to "giving back" we want to know how little we can do to scrape by.

Sin can be likened to a flame: How near to a flame can you approach without being burned? You only know after you've gone too far.

More manly man

2006-03-26T22:08:00.000-08:00

I used to live in the town of Manly Iowa, actually.

So yeah, a week or whatever after my manly man post, I thought I'd share what I've been reading. Just finished the fifth book of the Laura Ingalls Wilder "Little House" series. I read those books probly seven times as a kid, and haven't touched 'em in probly 20 years. But they're good. And quick reading.

Other reading that has been good recently: "God is here" by Steve Case. "Homestead" by Jane Kirkpatrick.

Yeah. That'll do, pig; that'll do.

Four Minutes

2006-03-16T07:57:00.000-08:00

I was so manly today. All by myself, I changed the burned-out lamp in my car's headlight. I grunted and everything, got my hands dirty, and now both headlights shine. Sweet.

Two Wolves (not original)

2006-03-10T08:44:00.000-08:00

One evening an old man told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all."

"One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

"The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old man simply replied, "The one you feed."

Amazing Fish Story

2006-02-20T19:50:00.000-08:00

I received these pictures in an email a few weeks ago. I checked the story out at www.snopes.com and found out it's true. You can read the newspaper article at that link, but the short part of the story is this guy saw a huge catfish with a basketball stuck in its mouth, and he rescued the fish by deflating the ball. Here's the pictures small:

This is the gospel story. I even wrote a sermon using it as an illustration how we are catfish, attracted by the things of the world, stuck in sin which exhausts us and promises to kill us, unable to either free ourselves or even feed ourselves to gain strength for the struggle.

Like that catfish, we have a savior who is not only able to set us free, but wants to set us free, wants to see us live lives abundant and full, the way God intends for us, and rejoices when we are free.

Bill took that ball and removed it from the fish, and I imagine both parties want the fish never to be in that situation again.

God takes our sins and removes them to the bottom of the ocean.

We should let 'em stay there.

Love is...

2006-02-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

My wife shared this with me recently. Neither of us made it up (apparently David Sanford did). The Apostle Paul's version can be found here.

LOVE: A PARAPHRASE OF 1 CORINTHIANS 13

By David Sanford

If I talk a lot about God and the Bible and the Church, but I fail to ask about your needs and then help you, I'm simply making a lot of empty religious noise.

If I graduate from theological seminary and know all the answers to questions you'll never even think of asking, and if I have all the degrees to prove it and if I say I believe in God with all my heart, and soul and strength, and claim to have incredible answers to my prayers to show it, but I fail to take the time to find out where you're at and what makes you laugh and why you cry, I'm nothing.

If I sell an extra car and some of my books to raise money for some poor starving kids somewhere, and if I give my life for God's service and burn out after pouring everything I have into the work, but do it all without ever once thinking about the people, the real hurting people-the moms and dads and sons and daughters and orphans and widows and the lonely and hurting-if I pour my life into the Kingdom but forget to make it relevant to those here on earth, my energy is wasted, and so is my life.

Here is what love is like--genuine love. God's kind of love. It's patient. It can wait. It helps others, even if they never find out who did it. Love doesn't look for greener pastures or dream of how things could be better if I just got rid of all my current commitments. Love doesn't boast. It doesn't try to build itself up to be something it isn't. Love doesn't act in a loose, immoral way. It doesn't seek to take, but it willingly gives. Love doesn't lose its cool. It doesn't turn on and off. Love doesn't think about how bad the other person is, and certainly doesn't think of how it could get back at someone. Love is grieved deeply (as God is) over the evil in this world, but it rejoices over truth.

Love comes and sits with you when you're feeling down and finds out what is wrong. It empathizes with you and believes in you. Love knows you'll come through just as God planned, and love sticks right beside you all the way. Love doesn't give up, or quit, or diminish or go home. Love keeps on keeping on, even when everything goes wrong and the feelings leave and the other person doesn't seem as special anymore. Love succeeds 100 percent of the time. That, my friend, is what real love is!

Copyright 2003 David Sanford. Permission is granted to send this to others, but not for commercial purposes.

Now, I also like verses 8b - 13, which Mr. Sanford chose to leave out. Perhaps it could continue:

Words are uttered once and then they're history. They can be repeated but their meaning cannot remain static. Even things we hold in high regard, like education and experience, these things are confined to flesh and blood, and they are not immortal. We as a species don't know as much as we think we know - how can we accurately describe what the Almighty has done? When God reveals everything, then we'll know. An apple seed knows only what it's like to be an apple seed, but an apple knows what it's like to be both seed and fruit, and it is no longer like the seed. Wait til it's a tree. It's the same with people and God: wait til God gives you your spiritual body, what a difference! In the end, as now, only faith and hope and love exist. And love - everlasting love - love trumps 'em all.

State of the Union

2006-02-01T06:08:00.000-08:00

How many blogs today have this subject, I wonder?

Click on the picture to make it bigger if you wanna see my notes during the speech.

I thought it was a very politically correct, hopeful speech. Surprised by the "American Competitiveness Initiative" (?) that will ride on the successful tails of No Child Left Behind (?). Surprised at the oil addiction statement, and the 20 year plan to decrease our dependence on the foreign stuff (20 years? c'mon, how bout a little initiative?). W told of a plan to cut the deficit in half over the next three years. Said the same thing last year: cut it in half over the next three years. He referred to 9/11 only twice, by my count, and hinted that if we'd have had something like the Patriot Act in place pre 9/11, 9/11 wouldn't have happened. Nice.

Now I guess I'll see what the media has to say about it. I watched on Fox, btw.

A Prayer of Confession

2006-01-23T21:54:00.000-08:00

(written during my retreat to Seattle, which was waaay cool. By the way, check out my latest addition to my photos... a drawing I did while in Seattle...). Not sure why I went with "Thee" and "Thou". Somehow it sounds deeper that way, I guess. It starts off right quick, by the way:

I MAY even keep secrets from myself, LORD.
But not from Thee.
Thou alone knowest, and Thou alone holdest the cure.

But Thy cure requirest one thing: my submission.

I submit MOTION instead of EMOTION.

I give Thee RUST instead of TRUST.

I put my energy into things Thou hast not called me to,
taking energy from the things Thou hast called me to.

I give my worship not to Thee alone,
but to too many things that truly are not worthy of my praise,
neither are they honoring to me or to Thee.

YET, Thy steadfast love endureth forever.
Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
You remember my sins no more!

Accept Thou my confession , LORD.
Hear my repentant prayer.

Create in me a new heart.

Grant me Thy vision of me.

Lead me into life, through your paths of righteousness.

For Thine own sake, LORD, have mercy on me.

Amen.

It's a good start for me

2006-01-10T18:38:00.000-08:00

2006 is going well for me and my family. Aside from the fact that I have a zit, I mean. I'm 33 years old, for crying out loud, and I got a nice zit. Yahoo.

I'm going to Seattle next week for a retreat and conference. It may sound really selfish (it may even be really selfish), but I'm really looking forward to that time. I'll be able to sit at the feet of some fine spiritual leaders, have some good God time, some good peer time, and some good Kerrfunk time. Gonna take my sketchbook, and check out the local wines and beers (love to do that when I travel), and read and, oh, can you tell I'm excited?

So yeah, yay 2006. And yay God!

Happy New Year / Prayer of Philaret

2006-01-07T08:08:00.000-08:00

Woo-Hoo, only a week late, eh? Seriously, 2006 has been pretty awesome so far. New Year's Resolutions include not staying up til 1 or 2 in the morning on the computer. It's tough, I tell ya.

Anyhoo, I open every day with the following prayer, which I pray in a kind of chant (helps me remember it, remember where I am). It's a prayer of Philaret, patriarch of Moscow. I added the lines about forgiveness at the end cuz that's important to me.
Be blessed!

LORD, grant me to greet the coming day in peace.
Help me in all things to rely on your holy will.

In every hour of the day reveal your will to me.
Teach me to treat all that comes to me
throughout the day with peace of soul,
and with firm conviction
that your will governs everything.

In all my deeds and words guide my thoughts and feelings.
In unforeseen events let me not forget
that all are sent by you.

Teach me to act firmly and wisely,
without embittering and embarrassing others.
Give me the strength to bear the fatigue
of the coming day with all that it shall bring.

Wash me clean with forgiveness for all of my offenses;
Grant me the strength of your Spirit and guide me in your ways.

Direct my will.
Teach me to pray.
Pray yourself in me.

Here's another prayer of Philaret

Have Yourself a Jesus-Centered Christmas

2005-12-12T11:00:00.000-08:00

Kerrfunk's rendition of a classic Christmas tune:

Have yourself a Jesus-centered Christmas
Letting God's light shine
Leave the busy empties of your world behind

Have yourself a Jesus-centered Christmas
Stop, and think on Him
Let the Holy Spirit bring you closer in

Here we are at Christmastime
and we always wonder why
Every year it goes faster still
Have we let the meaning die?

Jesus came to show us how to live, so
If you're not too proud
Let him show you how to live his love out loud
And how to have a Jesus-centered Christmas now

Number Two

2005-12-10T15:50:00.000-08:00

I now have a matching pair of grafted ACLs.

Tore my left ACL circa 92/93 skiing in Colorado with the fam. That was fun. The doc told me it was a complete tear, and that it would not get better, neither would it get worse. They could do the surgery, but my lifestyle didn't demand it. Meh. I was 21-ish. I learned how to live with a torn ACL. Couple times a year I'd do something dumb and twist or pop my knee, but those events became fewer and farther between.

However, when I had a kid (3/2003) I wanted to have the surgery, so I wouldn't have to worry about popping the knee whilst playing. Got that fix in October 2003. And the part about it wouldn't get worse? Well ten years of mild abuse without an ACL = arthritis, plus minor miniscus tears. Anyway.

Fast forward 15 months to the first time skiing post surgery (February 2005) I "felt the need for speed" one last time and although I didn't fall, I twisted my right knee enough to tear that ACL. Knew it right away (I'd lived with a torn ACL for ten years...). A month or two later I twisted/popped it again. Swallowed my pride and saw a doctor, confirmed the tear, and had the ACL reconstruction December first. Yahoo. Much easier the second time around, really.

Anyhoo, Mom & Dad came out to help (again) which was terrific. Thanks!

And the bestest story of all: 3 days after surgery, my daughter said "Daddy do you have a boo-boo?" (yes, honey, on my knee) "Do you want my blankie? It will protect you!" Sweet thing!

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T17:34:00.000-08:00

Yeah, real original post, I know.
Especially since I'm gonna encourage you to spend some time with
Abraham Lincoln's Thankgsiving Proclamation.

We've Moved!

2005-11-23T13:35:00.000-08:00

We've Moved!
In light of all them hurricanes is how I interpret this cartoon, although I know it was written in 2004...it's probly supposed to be interpreted politically. Anyway I thought it was cute.

First Place!

2005-11-19T12:19:00.000-08:00

Well it's time for the November post. Not that anybody reads this or anything (heck, nobody knows about it to read it in the first place!) (translation: if you read this, leave a comment!)

So I came in first place in a half-marathon yesterday. Course, I also came in last place, since I was the only runner. You can check it out here:

my half marathon

I was pretty pleased that I finished, and kept a pace of 9:57. I did a 9:05 in February 2003 in Vegas, but this one was hilly and I ran alone... flat and with a pack is faster.

Let's see, what else: I have a photo site now, you can see it on my links.

Also newly linked is a place I spend far too much time (Relevant magazine).

Happy Anniversary to me and my wife! Six years, 11/20. Awesome.

December I have knee surgery. Yahoo.

But God is good, all the time.
Blessings to whoever may read this.

Mr. Incredible

2005-10-08T16:49:00.000-07:00

Ephesians 1:19-21

Oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him--endless energy, boundless strength!
All this energy issues from Christ: God raised him from death and set him on a throne in deep heaven, in charge of running the universe, everything from galaxies to governments, no name and no power exempt from his rule. And not just for the time being, but forever.

itbotb

2005-09-10T08:08:00.000-07:00

So here's the refrain from a communion hymn I wrote last year. If you'd like to see the verses or the music, well I guess I'd have to snail-mail it to you, but feel free to ask me for it (kerrfunk1@netscape.net).

In the Breaking of the Bread
words and music by Kerrfunk

Refrain
In the breaking of the bread
You are made known
You fill my soul
In the blessing from the cup
You lift me up
You make me whole

My tats

2005-08-26T18:25:00.000-07:00

So here's pictures of my tattoos.

The cross and fish (inner right leg) are from about December 1998 .
The cross (four ice cream cones, LOL) is actually the alchemy symbol for the four elements: earth, air, water, fire. In January 1999 I decided it wasn't finished, and I added the Christian fish at the bottom.

The flame and bird (inner left leg) were added sometime mid 2000, after I decided the cross thing was too symmetrical and plain.

The Japanese characters (right shoulder-blade), were done fall 2001 with three best friends... It means best friend.

Larry Bro

2005-07-05T20:33:00.000-07:00

So I've been blessed recently by the writings and life of Brother Lawrence, a 17th Century Parisian monk...

From his eulogy, about a third of the way in (it's on page 37 in my book*, the 10th page of a 30-page eulogy):

...At the beginning of my duties, I said to God with a son-like trust, "My God, since You are with me, and since it is Your will that I should apply my mind to these outward things, I pray that You will give me the grace to remain with You and keep company with You. But so that my work may be better, Lord, work with me; receive my work and possess all my affections." Finally, during my work, I continued to speak to Him in a familiar way, offering Him my little services, and asking for His grace. At the end of my work, I examined how I had done it, and if I found any good in it, I thanked God. If I noticed errors, I asked His forgiveness for them, and without becoming discouraged, I resolved to change and began anew to remain with God as if I had never strayed. So, by picking myself up after my falls, and by doing many little acts of faith and love, I came to a state in which it would be as difficult for me not to think of God as it had been difficult to accustom myself to thinking of Him at the beginning.

Later in the book it is revealed that while Brother Lawrence was dying, he refused comfort measures and in fact intentionally laid in uncomfortable positions, so that he could better understand and honor Christ's suffering...

*The Practice of the Presence of God. By Brother Lawrence. A new translation by Robert J. Edmonson. Edited by Hal M. Helms. Paraclete Press, 1985.

Welcome to Pagan Place

2005-06-13T19:29:00.000-07:00

So I recently discovered this really cool CD, "Welcome to Pagan Place" by Laura Love, I was listening along to my net radio when I heard her funky folky voice singing Steve Miller's "Fly Like An Eagle". The sound was good enough that I found out what CD it was on and purchased it right away. I was not disappointed: the CD was great, and complemented some of the reading I've been doing lately, actually. The album (Welcome to Pagan Place) was released in 2003, before President Bush invaded Iraq, and includes Laura's newfound political outspokenness, nicely packaged in that unique sound of hers.

If you're in for the long haul, I've typed up her CD liner notes (minus all the thanks, but unedited). Everything following this is hers:

…I am worried as never before about our future as citizens and inhabitants of the earth. I think the songs on this CD reflect my great unease about the shape of things to come. I’m not a political expert, nor do I judge myself to be much more than another fairly obscure left coast, liberal artistic-type folkie, yet I find myself profoundly disappointed and even angry at the Bush administration and his bomb happy pals, for what I see as the squandering of years of diplomatic good will, trust, privacy protection and financial prosperity under the guise of protecting Americans from “evil-doers.” I am troubled beyond words by what feels like a white knuckle ride toward global calamity, alienation and doom. I cannot believe that in these few short years we have come from relative peace, calm and civility with our neighboring nations to being thrust to the very brink of war with virtually every other country in the world. Why aren’t we doing everything within our power to preserve and protect this sacred earth and all of its plant and animal inhabitants? Contrary to feeling safe, I’m scared as hell by the continued assurances from our “elected” leader that we are the mightiest, the best armed, the most morally sound – the most qualified nation on the planet to possess and use unimaginable force in bending all others to our will. I am frightened and I am frustrated by heightened escalation and rhetoric toward the fulfillment of this administration’s not so secret agenda of global domination fueled by our president’s personal dislike and disdain for most of the poor and brown people and countries of the world. I am alarmed and dismayed by the widening gulf between the haves and have nots. Our president just flat out seems to not give half a shit about the needs of those less prosperous, less fortunate, less educated than he or the environment or anything really but satisfying his own personal enthusiasm for amassing wealth and pleasing gigantic corporate friends. Unleashing our military on any who “may” pose a threat someday is a dangerously simplistic “solution” to a very complex problem. And this administration’s constant “god-dropping” to justify their violent actions is offensive. I am as horrified as anyone at the sight of people here or anywhere being killed, hurt, or victimized by extremism and terrorism, however feel that war and the pursuit of revenge are the abject and absolute failure of diplomacy – which should always be our utmost priority. It does not strike me as contradictory in the least to think of myself as passionately patriotic – possessing a deep and abiding love for this country – as well as for those living in Afghanistan, Africa, Israel, Palestine, Iraq, Russia, China, Korea and points beyond. I’ve been watching a lot of TV in motel rooms lately as I travel around and perform concerts and I’ve caught some great interviews and features on people that I think are cool, like film maker Michael Moore and politicians Patty Murray and Jim McDermott. The other day I heard Professor Robert Jay Lifton (John Jay College and the Graduate Center of City University of New York) tell me and all Americans that we have a duty and an obligation to speak up and to write our elected officials and tell anyone who will listen, in whatever realm, how we feel about what our leaders are doing. It struck me as absolute truth and I felt some measure of relief in having gotten this directive. I’ve written these songs and these notes in an attempt to follow that guy’s advice, and from a completely heartfelt belief that I cannot afford to do otherwise. On past records, I think I’ve written less direct songs with perhaps slightly obtuse lyrics about my political and philosophical leanings. On this CD, I wanted there to be no room for misinterpretation or ambiguity. I didn’t want to be coy or fickle or disguise my feelings in any way. I wanted to put forth, unequivocally and perhaps painfully obviously, my likes and dislikes – cuz, hey…it’s my record and why not! In case I haven’t made my point, I’d like to say, “for the record,” that I believe these confrontations that George Bush, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, John Ashcroft and their buddies are spoiling for are perfect examples of the ill-conceived, short-sighted, simple-minded macho posturing that we can continue to expect for a very long time unless we turn out in droves for the next election (if we live that long), when I hope that each and every one of us will deliver a decisive and resounding blow to the likes of Katherine Harris, Jeb Bush and their well-heeled supporters. In the words of Jesse Jackson, it’s “the ballot and not the bullet” that will be our most powerful weapon in the war on terror.

Teach me to pray

2005-06-10T04:39:00.000-07:00

Why is it when someone "new to the faith" "learns how to pray," they are taught "the sinner's prayer" instead of The Lord's Prayer? Why the formulaic human-composed prayer instead of the prayer Jesus responded with when the disciples asked "How should we pray?"

A nation divided...

2004-10-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

Scroll down to see when this was written....

"Neither party expected for the war, the magnitude, or the duration, which it has already attained. Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict might cease with, or even before, the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other…. The prayers of both could not be answered; that of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has his own purposes….

"With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation’s wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan; to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations.

From Abraham Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address, March 4, 1865

Friday the Thirteenth

2004-08-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

Well I like to say that it's unlucky to be superstitious...
'Course I said that after throwing a pinch of salt over my left shoulder lol

I had an awesome week with 21 other folks from my church...
We went to Pittsburgh for a week-long city mission trip, working on homes, making relationships... Good time, good work, good relations. We have a way to go, even so.

Turns out the director of the Project not only knew Mr. Rogers, but spoke at his funeral! So, like, that makes me one step from Mr. Rogers (as you play the Kevin Bacon game)! A good man, Mr. Rogers.

Getting ready for a vacation, and then looking forward to the "regular" schedule of the fall again.

Peace, y'all

Kerrfunk

What is Christianity, anyway?

2004-07-27T07:01:00.000-07:00

So yeah, I've been reading Brian McLaren... Finding Faith and A New Kind of Christian. Brian talks about the questions I think about, the questions I think young people think about when they hear the word "Christian". See -- you just thought about that word and some of its implications. Brian is trying to look past that. He likes C.S. Lewis. I do too. C.S. Lewis did some heavy writing on the topic of Christianity back in the 1940's and 50's, also some light writing. Seems maybe ahead of his time.

Anyway, here's some other links that are worth checking out...

http://snapshotsofgod.com

www.evolutionoftruth.com

and of course there's

www.anewkindofchristian.com

Check that stuff out. Drop me a line, leave me a note, ask a question, share a thought!

Peace --

Kerrfunk

A lil' about my thinkin

2004-07-21T07:40:00.000-07:00

So here's some things I think... I haven't figured out how to do the links yet, but you could prolly just type them in if you're really curious.

For a fun, equal-opportunity Bush/Kerry-bashing fun song, check out
www.jibjab.com/thisland.html

Also always fun is www.dancingbush.com

I am a registered voter, but am not registered Republican or Democrat. I listen to Rush but it usually ticks me off. I also listen to NPR. CNN and Fox provide my news. I saw Michael Moore's F911 and was left with questions, but not much new.

I don't think we should have invaded Iraq. Yes, it's good that SH is no longer in power, but I don't think we had good reasons for going in in the first place, and I'm uncomfortable with an attitude that says "The ends justifies the means".

I don't think the state (of Pennsylvania) should have passed legislation allowing for slots... I think we've been deceived and will be reaping a lot of nasties because of gambling.

I don't think the US Constitution should be amended in order to define marriage.
In fact, I'd even entertain the possibility that the Constitution has served its country well and is ready to retire, and step aside for a new Constitution.

I think we're on the brink of a new world in terms of thinking (religiously, politically, globally). The transition will be painful, but I believe the fruit will be sweet. I hope to taste of it in my lifetime.

I am a hoper. Life is good.

acts 20:24

2004-07-19T08:56:00.000-07:00

check it out
read it here